Laura de Medici-Bentley: Turn to loved ones when you need support
This week was a tough week. A really, really tough week. I felt like everything that could go wrong, did. Every night, I went to bed with the “tomorrow is a new day” attitude, only to be faced with another tough day.
I have ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder) and since high school I have taken medicine to help me manage the symptoms. For the last several years, I have used the same medicine daily, only taking a break during my pregnancy. Recently, however, I started taking a higher dosage after getting my doctor’s approval. At first, I was fine. After a couple of weeks, a few unpleasant side effects started kicking in. The worst of these were irritability and depression.
Little things made me upset: weeding in the garden, a change of plans, a few too many toys on the living room floor, the typical nap time “struggle.” I wasn’t as patient with Livia, and that really broke my heart. Even though there were several points throughout the day where I was able to “let go,” be silly with Livia and have fun, an unhappy feeling loomed over me. I didn’t feel like a good mom.
I found myself writing in my “venting” journal every day, whereas usually I might write in it twice a month.
I tried waiting a few days to see if I felt better, and I made the mistake of not talking about it. As more days went by, I felt worse and more alone. When I couldn’t hide it any longer, I finally opened up to Lamar. I was so relieved to get everything off my chest, and I was so grateful to Lamar for just listening and hugging me. After talking to my doctor and adjusting my dosage, I already feel like myself again.
No matter what you are struggling with, it’s especially hard when you’re a parent. Don’t be too hard on yourself, and don’t hesitate to talk to your spouse, family and friends. Without the support of my loved ones, one tough week could have turned into more.
Laura de Medici-Bentley, of Winchester Virginia, is a former early childhood educator who currently enjoys staying home with her 2-year-old daughter. She is an author of a personal blog, CiaoMommy.com. She can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org.